Life on M².A.R.S.

So I've been playing with this all morning and came up with the following: Metaphysical and Material Angst Rationalization System. Basically I'm addressing the fact that I can make a molehill into a mountain quite easily, and then will do my best to at least ATTEMPT to see that mountain as a molehill again, although I certainly don't guarantee it.

To give a little bit of background: I am an expatriate woman, currently not working and currently trying to start a family with my husband of two and a half years.

I have also recently turned 40, so the pressure is on to get pregnant quickly--that is from an allopathic medical point of view; fortunately, neither my family nor my husband's family have been pushy on that front, and my husband has been very supportive.

So I try to keep the world out--save those who think like myself (what a tyrant!) and focus on what I think I need to do; I thought here I might share where this journey to start a family has taken me so far, and conjecture about where I'm going next.

And in case anyone is wondering: the blog title was inspired by the BBC television show, which in turn was partly inspired by the David Bowie song Life on Mars?

It certainly feels like I'm in a different world now compared to my life "before"--before quitting work, before getting married and BEFORE trying to start a family.

A good friend of mine who is a homeopathic practitioner and who has been working with me in a professional capacity for the last couple of years, keeps reminding me that the answers I seek "are all inside of you!".

I most definitely had trouble believing that statement when I first started this voyage of self-discovery in February 2005; but now, in recognizing that I am indeed on a quest to find and define myself (and not just have children), I find it somewhat easier and certainly comforting to contemplate what IS inside.

My roomate from college has encouraged me to write about my experiences, and my husband has been doing so for ages. Given the sheer number of blogs out there addressing individual fertility journeys, I find it intimidating to write about my own experiences--why, I won't be witty enough, or eloquent enough to sustain anyone's attention!

But I guess that's not the point...well, I guess we shall see how this all pans out. In the meantime, I welcome you to join me in my life on Mars and as I try to figure out all the answers to my many, many questions.